Tue 16 April 24

Okay a new thing. Try this on. I don’t know what “try” means, really. Like, maybe, as if it is an experiment. What will happen?
Okay, here’s the first one:

Dear friend,

Hell really is other people.
Anger is an energy and not a good one.
Let’s try it now without autocorrect and predictive typing. Much better. Hell is now a word i can type. Fucking is now a word i can type. Is this typing. I do believe it is.
There is time. And there is time for it. And time against it sometimes too. Time is sometimes not always. Texting has made this all be the way it is. Texting is not just a technology. It is a way of writing. And a way of thinking about writing. Let’s pretend that it matters that others agree with you.
Now I am starting to relax. My mentors teachers help me out. Gertrude Stein and Jack Kerouac and Alan Watts.
When i read i can get into the posture pose poise. The frequency. The zone. Sometimes i can get into it when i am writing too. It is not so easy to get into it just being though. Although the 4.33 meditation is helping with that. (4.33 is a John Cage piece I am “playing” — Now, I consider all meditation “playing.” That puts a much difference emphasis on it. … by the way, is it an it? … or rather, what happens when it becomes an “it”? … what happens when playing is not becoming an “it”?)
It is different when i am not “doing” anything. Or is it? Can i get it? Can i be it? Can i tune into it?
I am rushing now.
Thank you.
Is there something that i am supposed to do now? That i do not know about?
Why do i fear that i will lose it? How can i relax have faith in it? Thank you, Russ. The really important things that people do for you, they do without realising it.
Knowing it is an interesting thing. Can it be known. What matters. If i let it be what it is then i will be free again and i will feel it.
Yes! I am really rushing now. That is telling me. That is it. Allowed. To be it. Once again.
Okay. I remembered.
And a song. In the interest of how long. And along. And from here to there a question if you dare. Sometimes it’s not. That also is important. To try and sort it out and discern. You have to be in the zone for it to work. Then the feeling will be there. It is not usually there when you try to put it there.
“Aims are lost, replaced by vague rituals.”
What if the vague rituals are the aim.
I sought to tune-in the radio broadcast frequency of god. The creative force. To illuminate the mystery. A revelation.
In the quiet of the night. Precisely. Gestures are sublime on their own i hope i pray. May i know it. As in have congress with it.
Do i matter? When? There is a frequency that wishes to be expressed. To become manifest. A quality.
A book has a quality. A spirit. A holy ghost of it.
The smallness of the page on the iPad, its narrowness, i prefer it to the laptop. At night.
The device also has a quality, and the software, the application, the instrument. All have holy ghosts of it.
I am not looking for an explanation. I am looking for a confirmation affirmation. Its expression. To be moved by it. Inspired. Liberated in joy.
Yes letter writing has a beautiful sentiment.
Enter zen through there.

yours,
me, or something like it